One Small Favor
by Lightshade
Summary: A one-shot of some Batman/Joker smut. What really should have happened during the interrogation scene...


**Author's notes: Just a bit of Batman/Joker smut I've been working on for awhile. So if this isn't your cup of tea, please don't read and leave comments saying how much you hate the pairing. This takes place in the middle of the interrogation scene. Watch it, that scene is sooo full of sexual tension. And Joker _really_ seems to enjoy getting smacked around. I thought about starting it from the moment Batman slams the Joker's head into the table, but that seemed too much like just repeating the scene verbatim. It was a challenge, adding on to an additional scene, rather than creating a new scene altogether. I must've watched the scene thirty times on Youtube, and even copy and pasted part of the script onto a seperate document so I could type up the dialogue accurately. **

Batman grabbed the Joker and hoisted him up by the neck, letting the shorter man's feet barely skim the ground. The Joker couldn't help but feel excited. He had never been this close to his nemesis, mere inches away from his face. No, nemesis was the wrong word. Batman was more than that. He was his other half, one side of a two-headed coin. "Where's Dent?" Batman growled. The Joker grabbed a hold of Batman's arms to steady himself.

Batsy just wasn't getting it yet. "You have all these rules and you think they'll save you." Joker braced himself, but as Batman slammed him into the wall he was still jarred by the impact along his spine. He briefly wondered if the saintly commissioner would intervene, but it looked like Batman was above his actions being labeled as "police brutality."

"I have one rule," Batman snarled as he slammed his arm across the Joker's chest, knocking the breath out of him.

"Then that's the one you'll have to break. To know the truth." Joker said, singsonging the words.

"Which is?"

The Joker smiled, gasping for breath. "The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules. And tonight you're gonna break your one rule..."

Batman leaned in to the Joker. "I'm considering it."

Joker had never been fishing. He wasn't the type to sit around all day in boat, patiently waiting. He'd be more likely to pull a shotgun out and try to shoot the trout. But he began to feel very much like a fisherman, casting his line for a very rare batfish. He had to cast just right, and make sure he had the right type of bait on his hook. A beautiful brunette would probably do. "There's only minutes left- so, you'll have to play my little game if you want to save one of them." Joker licked his lips and wiggled his eyebrows invitingly as the bait was cast.

"Them?" Ah, a bite. Batsy was intrigued. Now the real trick would come in reeling in the line. If he pulled too hard or too fast, the line would snap, and he'd lose his batfish. Building him up slow and steady that would be the key.

The Joker continued. "You know, for a while there," he paused to swallow another breath of air as Batman's arm kept up a steady pressure on his throat, "I thought you really were Dent, the way you threw yourself after her. Heh-"

His laugh was cut off short as the clown was slammed into the interrogation table. The Joker soon found it again, as he watched Batman rip up a bolted down chair and jam it under the doorknob. No detectives would be interrupting them now. "Woohaha. Look at you go." Joker pushed himself up and groaned as his back cracked. His spine probably looked like a chiropractor's worst nightmare right now. "Does Harvey know about you and his little bony-?" Batman grabbed the Joker's head and hurled him into the two-way glass. The glass cracked into a spider web pattern under the impact, and Joker slid to the floor.

Batman stood over him, a man possessed as he roared out, "WHERE ARE THEY?!"

Joker was smiling inwardly as well as outwardly. He had Batsy right where he wanted him. Just a minute or two more of the head games. After all, Joker did enjoy tormenting the caped crusader so. "Killing is making a choice..."

Batman punched the Joker across the face, hard. That had felt so good. If only Batman knew how much the Joker was being turned on by the rough treatment, he would have been doing the opposite. As it was, he simply yelled out again, "WHERE ARE THEY?!"

The Joker was feeding off Batman's anger, and loving it. "...you choose one life over the other. Your friend, the district attorney. Or his blushing bride-to-be." Batman punched the Joker again. The Joker began laughing again. Batsy was so sexy when he was in a maniac rage. But it was time to play his trump card. To grab the net and bag his batfish, so to speak. "Woohahehahaha. You have nothing. Nothing to threaten me with. Nothing to do with all your strength..." Batman grabbed him by the lapels of his shirt, ready to start the pain again. Joker spoke quickly, not wanting to lose Batman while he was still in such an impassioned state. "But don't worry, I'm going to tell you where they are…and all I ask is…one…small…favor." Batman dropped him on the floor. The Joker pulled himself into an upright sitting position. Batman paused, his fists still clenched, caught somewhere between interest and just wanting to hit him hard again. Joker's eyes darted towards the two-way mirror, conscious of the unseen audience of detectives watching this little episode of drama unfold. From the other side, the detectives watched as Joker motioned Batman towards him, as eager as a little kid with a secret to tell.

As Batman knelt down, he actually tugged at one of the stiff ears of the cowl, and for a millisecond Detective Stephens wondered if he would attempt to pull the cowl off, exposing Batman's true identity. But no, instead as Batman cocked his head to one side, the Joker appeared be whispering something to him in his ear, too low for even the speakers to pick up. "What game is he up to now?" Stephens wondered.

Whatever he had whispered caused Batman rise up quickly, shaking his head as though trying to rid himself of the words Joker had said. It was impossible to tell what expression was on his hidden face, but his voice held emotions of disgust, rage, and tiny bit of amusement as he spoke. "No…that's just…you're joking…"

"Oh, this is the face of a very serious man," said the Joker as he darted his tongue out. Admittedly, it was a little hard to tell exactly when he was serious, with that permanent grin on his face. Batman paced back and forth, agitated in his decision making. The Joker couldn't help but tease him a little further, enjoying the torment. "Tick tock. Every second you waste is just another way of killing them." Even as he continued to speak, Batman had come to a decision. He marched over to the Joker and hoisted him up, a look of grim determination in his eyes. The Joker continued. "Now you can either throw away your pride or-" He was cut off midsentence as Batman's lips mashed into his. A look of shock was seen in the black rimmed eyes, as well as on the faces of the watching detectives, before the eyelids shut. He wrapped a hand around the taller man's cowl for balance as he leaned deeper into the kiss. As his tongue probed the caped crusader's mouth, Joker had to admit he hadn't been sure the Batman would actually do it. But apparently Batman really did have only one "rule". And he was a _really_ good kisser. Whoever the man was behind the mask, he certainly got around.

"For Rachel." That was how Bruce had justified it in his head. For her he would kiss this monster. But it appeared his body and his head wanted two different things. He had thought he would keep it a chaste kiss, with no tongue action. But when the Joker's tongue tapped against his teeth, they opened, despite his mind yelling at the traitorous action. His tongue ran along the scar lines on the inside of the crazed clown's mouth. His body seemed to press into the Joker's of its own volition. One hand shifted from holding the Joker's body upright and traveled downward, coming to rest on the small of his back. The Joker had the most bizarre style, stranger than any woman Bruce had ever kissed. Sloppy as a dog one second, hard and firm the next and ending quite sweet for a schizophrenic serial killer clown. His head began to tell him stop, that he had fulfilled the Joker's "favor", and that every second he wasted was one more that Rachel was in danger. But it appeared he couldn't break it off. As many women as he had kissed, not one of them, not even Rachel, had such fulfillment for him. What was it Joker had said? "You...complete…me." Maybe that was true. Nobody ever thought of their soul mate as being a serial killer in greasepaint, but then Bruce himself wasn't what one would call exactly normal. In alternate life, perhaps something else could have happened. Perhaps…

Bruce was snapped back to the reality of the interrogation as he felt the Joker's lips reluctantly leave his. Joker's eyes darted back and forth as he spoke. "Alrighty then. He's at 250 52nd Boulevard. And she's on Avenue X at Cicero 88." There was amusement and satisfaction dancing in his eyes now. "You know, it's funny in a way. You actually forgot all about your little brunette, wasting the time with me. I wonder how she would feel about that, knowing she's sloppy seconds to me. Hehehehhaha-" Batman cut him off by slamming him into the wall again. He was right. He had gotten caught up in the moment. He had acted as Bruce Wayne, a human being full of lust, instead of Batman, protector of Gotham. And that had been the Joker's intention all along. To show that there was a man behind the mask, who could be manipulated just like anyone else. And he had succeeded.

Batman ran to the door, yanking the chair aside. Gordon saw him storm past. "Which one are you going after?" Gordon asked.

"Rachel," he muttered, turning to go.

"Er...Ah… Batman…" Gordon said hesitantly.

"WHAT?!" the Dark Knight roared.

"There's some makeup on your mouth." As Batman ran to his Batcycle while scrubbing furiously at his face, he could only hope the Joker hadn't heard that last part. His hope was in vain, as he could hear Joker's cackling laugh following him out of the police station.


End file.
